In the world series between the New York Yankees and the Milwaukee Braves, Elston Howard was at bat in the 9th inning.  Warren Spahn was pitching.  Winning run(s) on base.  The coach walked out to the mound and told Spahn, “Whatever you do, don’t throw it high and outside!”  Spahn delivered the next pitch high and outside and Howard hit it out of the park, winning the series for the Yankees.  When asked later, Spahn said that all he could see and think about was high and outside.

The message is this.

• Always state what you do want rather than what you don’t want.  The mind has to create a picture of the thought before it can negate it.
• Know how to use your language to construct representations of what you do want.

Recall we have five senses: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and tactile. Of these senses, people tend to use sight, hearing, and tactile more than smell and taste, especially for internal processing and storage of information. So we will focus on sight, hearing, and tactile senses in these discussions. [Note that the verb in the previous sentence is visual. I will talk more about this in a moment.]

Each of us has a preferred sense that we use. I am visually oriented. I prefer to see information rather than to hear information and I seldom identify with any information as a feeling or experience. If you want to communicate with me most effectively, show me something. Provide the information to me visually.

Take a moment an identify your preferred system.

To most effectively communicate with someone, we want to tailor our communications in his preferred representational system.

• If a person is visual, show him the information or use phrases that are visually oriented.
• If a person is auditory, then tell or use auditory cues in communication.
• If a person is kinesthetic, provide for hands on, experiential communications or use cues that appeal to feeling.

Note that we can use words that appeal to the preferred system rather than communicating through that system. I can say something to someone and cause that person to see something internally.

The preferred representational system is also our preferred method for storing and processing information internally. My recall is almost always visual. I need to construct a visual representation of it in my mind to be able to retrieve it effectively. I have a friend who is auditory and can recall conversations word for word. But being visual, I can not begin to imagine how a kinesthetic person organizes and processes information.

These are our preferred strategies but we all process information in all three systems. Once we understand our preferred system we can ensure that we obtain and manage our information most effectively by using our preferred system. I always takes notes, make mindmaps, to capture auditory information. I also brainstorm and plan using visual tools. When I start a project I try to build a visual scaffolding in my mind on which I hang data about the project as it unfolds.

I welcome those auditory and kinesthetic people to post a comment a the blog to discuss how they manage the acquisition and retention of information using their preferred system.

As managers we want to maximize our effectiveness in communications. If we listen to people and to their phrases we can determine what representational system they prefer. We can tailor our language to provide information and to express ourselves to others using their preferred system.

People give us clues to their preferences in their conversation.

• If a person uses phrases like “I don’t see what you mean”, “that isn’t clear”, or “show me the money”, the individual prefers a visual representation.
• If a person uses phrases like “that doesn’t sound right”, “that doesn’t ring true”, or “countrymen, lend me your ears”, the individual prefers an auditory representation.
• If the person uses phrases like “that does not feel right”, “let me get a handle on it”, or “he rubs me the wrong way”, the individual prefers a tactile representation.

We can use these clues to guide us in structuring our language for effective communications with the individual. In meetings, lectures, and other group settings, we must communicate in all three systems, particularly in our examples, to effectively communicate with the participants.

To summarize.

• People have a preference in how they receive and process information, typically visually, auditorally, or kinesthetically.
• We can figure out what they prefer by observing their language. Other means exist that I will describe in another podcast.
• We can tailor our communications with the individual to use their preferred system.
• If we are communicating with a group, we need to provide our message in all three systems, especially in our examples.
• We need to know our own preferred system and enhance our use of that system in our internal processing.

Good luck.

Effective management requires a unique perspective. This perspective comes from one being centered, confident, and proactive rather than reactive. Effective management also requires communications skills, both verbal and non-verbal. And I think it requires a confidence of one who is comfortable with self and has a clear direction.

In this section on managing self I will review the skills and techniques that I have found useful.

One of the most useful skills I have found that empowers pro-action is the ability to watch my own thoughts. As I watch my thoughts I can interrupt the reaction that I would normally generate and replace it with a more appropriate action. Further, by altering the internal talk, I can change how I feel, how I interpret what I see or hear.

So I want you to watch your thinking for the next few minutes. Look at something. Note the internal dialog that you have that interprets what you saw. Note the instant before you make that internal comment. Think about an alternative comment that would totally change how you feel.

If you commute, you will have the opportunity to find several situations that upset you. Note how you judge the other fellow in these situations. Listen to the internal dialog. Then the next time a driver does something stupid, (yes, I know it will not take long), say something to yourself like “I am glad I have more time than he does” or some other positive comment and note how you feel differently about the driver.

Seek other situations during your day and note those situations where your internal comment is negative and destructive and brings you down. (By the way, it does not bring the other person down.) Consider what constructive commentary you could internally utter that would change your attitude. Note then how you could more constructively deal with the situation. Try to make your internal comment more factual and less editorial.

Consider now the influence you can exercise over situations by selecting alternative representations to yourself. You can actually change how you feel about something or someone by changing your internal dialog about the something or someone. See if you can change your feeling about something you don’t like to something that you do like by interrupting negative reaction and stating positive statements instead.

Try this for the next few days. Practice watching and listening to your internal dialog. Note how much different you feel when you take command and change your conversation.

Managing Your Self Talk links here.